Here you are in your late 20s, you have a career that you spend most of your time at each day. You may have a couple of dogs and a cat that need a lot of attending to. You might have a kid or two that you are trying to raise without much help from the other parent. You probably either own or rent your own place that needs to be cleaned. You have a solid group of friends that always seem to have something going on each weekend. You are also more involved in your family than ever, because you are now old enough to get invited to everything, and I mean everything your aunts and uncles do. The list could seriously go on and on about what us as adults are supposed to accomplish in any given week, no wonder we all have addiction problems in one way or another we need to fucking tap out for a god damn second. So you try to add dating a new person in the mix and it seems impossible to find any time to get to know a complete stranger. Really out of each day, after you get everything done you wanted to you probably only have maybe 3 hours max to just “hang out” and some days I am so sick and tired of people that it drains me to even think about keeping my makeup on past 8pm.
So how do we go about this? I have been trying to figure this out for quite some time now and my answer lately has been to just give up. When you only see a person maybe once or twice a week even if I have texted them all day, everyday, and throw in a goodnight phone call that is not enough for me. I lost interest because I can’t seem to get emotionally involved with someone I barely see. It is so hard to get to know someone over the phone I honestly don’t know how people have long distance relationships. By definition as a girl I should love to talk but what I enjoy about getting to know a person is all the little things. Like what they look like when they walk and how they hold the stirring wheel when they drive or how their face looks when they laugh. Don’t get me wrong knowing their favorite food and their hobbies are important too, but that is not something I am going to fall in love with. I only start to feel safe in a relationship when I know that if they give a certain face what it means, and that my friends is only something you can learn by being around someone….a lot.
So as you can assume dating for me the fucking worst! I myself have a dog and a cat, I rent my own apartment and I work 2 jobs so I might have a one day off a week, but sometimes I just pick up a shift at the restaurant anyways, because I get bored at home. I like to stay busy, so I hang out with a lot of friends all the time and there always seems to be a friend that I haven’t seen in a while that wants to meet up. In the summer good fucking luck! Every single fucking week is a shit show! I have a big family that is decently close and it is always someones birthday or graduation or it’s just good bonfire weather. I am a party girl if you haven’t gathered from my other posts, so very quickly I get booked up with drunken escapades. I have also become quite a spontaneous person because of this. If I am out and my friends are about to leave me or if I am at a bar by your house you will probably be getting a tipsy call from me to come on over. I rarely make actual plans with anyone because most of the time when it comes to showing up for those plans I just wont want to. Plus I have a hard time letting anyone in because flat out I have major commitment and trust issues, but who doesn’t nowadays. You go through life long enough dating, and dating, and more dating you get fucked up at some point along the way.
Priorities is the key. How badly do you want a relationship? Are you willing to give up time with your friends and family to get one? Are you willing to lose sleep, lose time with your dog and most importantly are you willing to lose time watching Netflix? It honestly depends on the day for me. Really all I want is someone to come over to my apartment, drink some wine with me and make me laugh, everyday. I want things to be simple even when I know they can’t always be.
So the answer to me own question is take the situation day by day. If it feels like you are putting more work into it than the other party than get out! Don’t waste your precious time on people who don’t value it. Adulting can be seriously hard at times and mostly always a pain in the ass but unfortunately we grew up whether we like it or not, so as long as we can keep our ducks in a row and give up some Netflix time maybe one day we can find someone worth giving up our sleep as well.
Never give up time with your dog!